This week, my clients (and myself!) have found ourselves thrown into different initiation experiences. What an intense time! An initiation is a time of awakening and openings. An initiation forces us to spiritually grow up. And boy, we really fight growing up. We work very hard to maintain a state of consciousness that doesn’t rock our boat. We REALLY don’t want our boat rocked. We love stability. We cling to safety. And yet, rocking our boat is an initiation’s job.
An initiation is a fight between yourself and your weaknesses. The part of you that is love and light, and brilliant must wake up. You almost have no choice. It forces strength to come forward. It draws the strength out of you. The initiation backs you into a corner until you force your self to become a person which you did not want to become. And that is a stronger, more awake person. Often, an initiation experience cracks open reason. It does so in a way that destroys your ability to outwit yourself or to come up with excuses to harm yourself. Reason escapes you. We often ask “Why me!?” or become frustrated that the event is even happening in the first place. It is not rational. And yet, It is awakening the limbs of the tree of life that is your body. It is the bones of your new spirituality. It is carving out more room for the mystical.
Initiations do not announce themselves. It is an experience that begins like any other experience. It is nearly impossible to catch them as they are unfolding.They are recognized in hindsight. Although, initiations do have certain signatures that we can notice when we are looking back.
Initiation can look like anything – illness, love, loss, hunger. A moment of aloneness is often one of the most common experiences and signs. It feels like god has abandoned you. That is a signature initiation move. If you are not hearing an answer, keep going. It will all unravel perfectly.
Resolving an initiation is not as simple as picking up the phone. It requires something within us to be dismantled. An old belief, something we are holding onto, or a part of us that is ready to undergo a very profound transformation. Resolving it requires surrender. The foundation of our entire world quakes. And we must be brave enough to let it all fall apart.