Often, one of the ways we sabotage ourselves is by running away from our own success. Being successful and celebrated can bring up an entirely new set of fears and risks.
The risk of being loved.
The risk of being seen.
The risk of being rejected.
The risk of never being celebrated again.
The risk of failure.
When we are in this kind of self sabotaging behavior, the afraid parts of us have realized that if we stay distressed, we can avoid the perils of this kind of vulnerability. Even though there is nothing to celebrate, we have nothing to lose. These parts of ourselves are a part of our armor – our protection.
This week, new wiley parts of me came forward that hold this fear. Every time I push forward and reveal myself, I risk bringing up a whole host of fears and feelings that would have remained dormant if I didn’t take that step. This is true especially for those of us in a leadership position – the more visible you are, the easier it is to be a target.
For those of us with this way of sabotaging, we often must confront our self worth on the way. one of the ways we have been kept down is being led to feel like we are “too much” whenever we embody or express our fullness. When internalized, this shaming and repressive message prevents us from developing into all that we are. We close down energetically and organize our lives around a tinier, less visible shadow of ourselves.
Often, if we do not do our work with these parts of our selves, what we are most desiring we may flee once we find it. We seek, we search, and then one day when it shows up we turn in the other direction and go back to seeking. It is as if the light on our path was too bright and vulnerable to be real.
If we don’t work with this wiley one, we risk a lifetime of seeking for what is already here under our feet. It is not around the corner, and yes you are ready.